The Single Life

From my mother's Faculty Favorites Cookbook (Magothy River Middle School, Arnold, MD).  Sprinkle a teaspoon of brown sugar on half a grapefruit.  Put a sliver of butter in the center of the grapefruit.  Microwave on high for a minute.  I really enjoyed this weird twist on grapefruit.

                      

Society has made me do this. I am forced to address something that I really had no intention of blogging about… the single life. It isn’t my goal to try to convince anyone of anything. This is my life and obviously my views. However, I would like to share them because there needs to be a broader perspective about the single life in 2011.

You would be surprised at how much my singleness comes up in conversation without me bringing it up. There is the motherly, gentle prodding that mostly comes from married girlfriends. Now Karen…tell me…how’s the dating coming along? There are people who haven’t seen me for awhile. You still single? Why you ain’t married! There are people who feel compelled to just let me know their thoughts. You know….me and Sue were just talking about you and we feel that you are perfectly deserving of a good man. Huh?

It isn’t as if I have a chronic illness which could kill me. I’m just not married.

We are socialized to believe that marriage is something that everyone should do and should want. If a person, especially a 42 year old woman that has never been married and has no children - does not actively demonstrate that she is striving toward that ideal…then there is a problem. A big problem. Minimally, she must be vocal about what is wrong with her or what is wrong with men. What if she doesn’t feel that way?  Isn't marriage, singleness and everything in between a choice?

I have learned not to talk about my dating life with the exception to the 2.5 people who really get me in this area of my life. Actually, I have learned to come up with one liners just to get people up off of me. For the last few months, when someone inquires about my singleness I just say, I’m blogging…not dating…OK? I’m surprised at how amused people are with that response.  I chuckle along with them as I’m surprised at how often I hear myself saying it. But, it works for everyone, it redirects the conversation and sometimes it’s true.