Lessons Learned from my Dog

  Have expectations and be attentive....

Mama said there'll be days like this...there'll be days like this...

Chillin in the sun is good...

But an idle mind is the workshop of the devil!!!

Express vulnerability and need...

Grands have so much to offer...starting with a comfy lap

Sharing a meal is good for the soul...

Be a good companion...

Respect boundaries...we all need space

Be innocent and young at heart

Express your cool...in a healthy way...

Sometimes hang back and let others shine...

Just be...

Brandi is a Beagle - Pit Bull Mix that I rescued from DeKalb County Animal Control when she was estimated to be about 6 months.  She was described as a Beagle- Mix.  When I got her home and observed her over the next few weeks, it occured to me that she sure seems muscular and her color and patterns sure seems to hint at Pit Bull.  I wasn't worried, by the time I came to this full realization, she had been in my home for several weeks and not once tried to kill me. 

Interestingly, people either see her as a Beagle or as a Pit Bull.  Oh...what a pretty beagle!  Or they have a look of terror and cross the street...Is that a Pit Bull?!?!??!?!!!   Most men will proclaim that she is 100% Pit.  In fact, one guy wanted to know if I would like to breed Brandi with one of his Pits.  This was at the Applebees when I went in to pick up my order from the bar.   He must have seen me blocking Brandi from jumping out of the car before I went inside.  Bizarre.  I don't even know your name. 

Once, when walking Brandi in front of the shopping plaza near my house, I noticed this truck following me.  I decided not to give any eye contact and walked a little faster.  It sped up a little.  I wasn't too worried as the parking lot was jam packed with people and cars.  Finally, the woman driver rolled down the window.  Excuse me ma'am, my husband and I were having a debate...he says you got yourself a Pit Bull and I told him that's a Beagle!   Uhh...you do know that women don't like trucks creeping alongside of them while walking alone? 

Brandi is approximately 3 years old and is living in the lap of luxury.  Just look at her.

Honey & Spice Banana Muffins

I was checking out my box of bran flakes cereal.  The same bran flakes that I always buy from Kroger that I think are the most amazing bran flakes.    I'm always shocked at how cheap they often are...like...$1.88 or even $1.66 a box.  As they say, you can't beat that with a stick. 

The flakes are pretty large in size and very hearty. The cereal does not get soggy fast. I always keep them in the house because it is one cereal that I really enjoy and it is healthy and filling. I usually add raisins or a banana.  I've never cared too much for raisin bran cereal, name brand or generic.  The flakes are lightweight and get soggy really fast.  The raisins are often hard.  The cereal tastes too sweet.   I bet you didn't know that raisin bran could be deconstructed in this way. 

So, I was looking at my box of bran flakes and noticed the recipe for the Honey & Spice Banana Muffins.  I have not used recipes from cereal boxes although I often read them.  Growing up, I do remember a recipe for baked chicken that came off the side of a box of cornflakes.   We took chicken (whole fryer, cut up), seasoned it, and rolled it around in crushed cornflakes.  We poured melted butter on it and baked it.  I remember it tasting really good.   Of course, I always wonder if it tasted good because I was in middle school and didn't know no better or was it really good?   Last night, I asked my mother if she remembered when we made that recipe.  Yes, I remember...  Do you remember it tasting good and was it really that good?  Yes, I remember...it was good...does it matter?  She gives me a strange and quizzical look that could be interpreted a many a ways, none which are good.   The memory of it tasting good is what is most important and I can leave it at that. 

So, I am trying out this muffin recipe from the side of a cereal box without the highest of expectations.   

 

Honey & Spice Banana Muffins

1 cup of bran flakes cereal
1/4 cup of skim milk
1 cup of all purpose flour
1/2 cup of honey
1/4 cup melted margarine
2/3 cup mashed ripe bananas
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 teaspoon of salt
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoonn of cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon of ground ginger
1/4 tsp ground nutmeg

My substitutions and additions based on my fridge, pantry and druthers:

• 1% milk for skim milk
• real ginger for ground ginger
• added half cup of raisins (more tasty, more fiber and more calories)
• added half a cup of chopped walnuts (more tasty, more fat, more calories)
• use of a 6 cup muffin pan instead of 12 (bigger muffin, larger serving size, more calories and no 12 cup muffin pan)

Heat oven to 375 F.  In a small bowl, soak cereal in milk for 5 minutes.  In a large bowl, combine remaining ingredients, then add cereal mixture.  Beat at medium speed until well mixed.  If adding raisins and nuts, fold them into the mixture.  Spoon into greased or paper-lined 12-cup muffin pan.  Bake 20 to 25 minutes until tops spring back when touched lightly.  Larger muffins require a little longer cooking time, maybe 30-40 minutes. 

Thoughts on this recipe.   This was a pretty tasty muffin.  In terms of taste and moistness, it just cannot be compared with a pre-packaged muffin that you would buy from the grocery store or from a restaurant that is full of eggs and butter which could be 350-500 calories.   Actually, you probably could eat a slice of cake for breakfast for the same amount of calories and fat.  I found them to be rather dense but not dry.  This recipe was sweetened by honey which was the predominant flavor so the recipe is appropriately named.   I like honey, but in terms of taste would want to scale back some so that other flavors could be more prominent.  For example, I did not taste the banana and I like banana.   I was glad that I added raisins and nuts.   The fresh ginger was a good choice.

I determined that these muffins are 242 calories without the addition of raisins and walnuts.  I calculated the calories for the entire recipe and then divided it by 6.  With a piece of fruit and coffee, this makes for a healthy and filling breakfast.   Obviously, these muffins would have been half the calories if I had made them with a 12 cup muffin pan.   I opened one up and added a little margarine to the center.  I endorse these muffins although I plan on experimenting more with the recipe.   

Single Life 2 - Thou Shalt Date

Dating?  What would you like to know?  I've been doing it for years -accidentally, intentionally and even ambivalently.  Every now and then I'll take a break or hiatus when I get a little wary.  I always know when I need to take a break.  If I see a man giving me the once over as he passes by and my initial reaction is ...ugh...that might mean its time for a break.  But eventually, I will get back on that horse.  I'm not one to throw in the towel, and as they say...you gotta play to win.  Besides the obvious, I believe that there are other reasons why thou shalt date.

Thou Shalt Know Thyself

A lot of times, there is the tendency to make dating about evaluating the other person.  However, this is a great time for self evaluation.  When I say self evaluation, I don't mean how to make yourself more attractive or likable to the person of interest.  I feel this is covered extensively.  Instead, I mean understanding yourself and your own behaviors when dating or when in relationships.  Don't worry about his issues, first figure out your own and the things that you may need to work on.  At the same time, know your strengths and what qualities you are bringing to the table. 

Thou Shalt Know What Thou Want

Some people have a written list of qualities that they want in a mate.  I've read that one should have a list.  I've also read that you should create a list and then destroy it.  Years ago, I did this exercise but that was when I used to create a whole lot of lists anyway.  The only problem with lists is that every item on it may not be based on anything solid or even informed.   Of course, it also depends on where you are in your life.    Recently, a friend that I've known for a long time said Karen, remember when you said you wouldn't marry a man with kids?  Actually, I don't, but I probably said it.  That was more than 12 years ago.  Of course, that seems silly to me now.  Most men I meet have children and usually they are not adults.  It isn't as much of an issue when dating, but in terms of a long-term committment, one can't ignore child support payments and baby mama drama.     Whether or not you have a list or generally know what you want, dating is a way to test it out.  Put theory into practice. You may discover that some things may fall off of the list while others may be added. 

Thou Shalt Not Listen to the Peanut Gallery

After doing a brief search of the term peanut gallery I discovered something interesting.  The term peanut gallery originated from the days of vaudeville.  The peanut gallery was the location of the cheapest seats in the theatre.  The people who sat there were known to heckle the performer.  By definition, these are people whose opinion is irrelevant or insignificant.  When dating, many people will express opinions that are irrelevant or insignificant.  Some of these people are friends and loved ones.  While they may be important to you, they may not be able to relate to or contribute to your dating experience in a meaningful way.  Maybe their beliefs about dating are outdated.  Maybe they only see you with a certain type of person.  Maybe they have a lot of unresolved issues in their own relationships.  Maybe they are personally invested in you being married.   Even your girlfriends can be kind of tricky when telling them things about someone that you just met.  Either they vision you at the altar or they are telling you to run for your life.  By the time they finish with their opinions, you would think that you were dating King Kong, The Nutty Professor or Jeffrey Dahmer.   And all you said was that his pants were a little high and that he had a strange laugh. 

Thou Shalt Learn the Male Species

Men and women are different.  While we may care about the same things, how we express that care is quite different which can cause a lot of conflict in relationships.  Women often want things done yesterday.  Men get it done, but usually before the end of the century.  Men tend to think in terms of function.  Women also think about function, but also in context and with a whole lot of details.  I have discovered that it is true that men really don't like to stop for directions.    While it is important to know the man individually, it is very important to know his species and from whence he came.  

Thou Shalt Master the First Date

The first date can be nerve wracking.  It can also be fun and exciting.   The more first dates you have the easier they become.   As a general rule of thumb, I tend not to go out with people that I haven't spoken with a few times at length on the phone. If I am going to leave my house to meet you, there better be some good conversation.  Always meet your date at an agreed upon location.  A lot of times, the guy will ask me where I want to meet him.  Well, since you asked, I will pick a place familiar to me that I like on my side of town.  Another thing that I do is meet at a coffee shop instead of a restaurant for a meal. I always keep in mind that if we don't like each other, there is no reason to suffer through an entire meal.  My friends often ask whether or not I should expect a man to pay on the first date. That can generally be avoided with this strategy. Fortunately, when there is a second date, the guy usually will pay but it isn't my expectation.   I hate when I hear women say, go ahead and go out with him, at least you can get a good meal out of it.  I think that is just wrong. 

Finally, I would suggest that you raise your expectations - just not in terms of his height.  Usually men aren't quite as tall as they claim.  Expect to have a good time.  If thou expects to have fun, generally, thou wilt. 

Oatmeal, Wheat and Banana Pancakes

This is the story about how one recipe becomes another.  I started out with the intention of making the Flying Biscuit's Organic Oatmeal Pancakes I mentioned in a previous blog.   But, I'm going to tell you what really happened.

At the start of this weekend, a Friday, I decided to get my grocery shopping completed for next week.  I concluded I didn't want to do much of nothing this weekend, so I had to get the shopping out of the way.  I did this without a grocery list and without recently reviewing the recipe.  This means, I had no buttermilk for the intended recipe. 

I intentionally purchased wheat flour as I've been thinking about making wheat bread.  My mother is visiting this month and I'm hoping that we will make the wheat bread she used to make when I was in high school.  I decided to wait for her arrival because I haven't kneaded bread or worked with yeast since high school.  I might as well wait for Momma.  In the meantime, I thought I would use some of the wheat flour and make wheat-based pancakes.

I buy bananas almost every week, only about 3 or 4.  Sometime weeks I eat them up but most times I don't.  Very ripe bananas are great for cooking.  I needed to get rid of a few.  I often freeze ripened bananas and use them in smoothies or baked recipes.

In my freezer I keep items for baking and toppings such as coconut, semi-sweet chocolate chips and an assortment of nuts that I buy in bulk.  No matter what happens, these tasty toppings can add flavor and make it look pretty.

Organic.  I just can't call my recipe organic.  What exacly does organic mean?  I started to research the term organic, but that is for another post for another day.  I didn't want to get lost in the internet abyss.  I've started a search on a single topic and en route - looked up the price of the newest Juicy Couture fragrance, discovered that The Walking Company has professional shoes, bookmarked blogs of interest, downloaded music and check the weather.   Two hours later...I decide that I don't have enough information to make an informed decision.  So, after careful consideration of what could happen should I go this route, I decided not to call these organic pancakes.  Instead, I'll call them exactly what they are- Oatmeal, Wheat and Banana Pancakes.

Oatmeal, Wheat and Banana Pancakes

The night before I combined one cup of oatmeal with 1 cup of 1% milk in a container and placed it in the refrigerator.  I kept this suggestion from the Flying Biscuit Recipe except that it called for buttermilk. 

Combine dry ingredients
1 cup of whole wheat flour
1 teaspoon of baking powder
2 tablespoons of sugar
Pinch of salt

Combine wet ingredients using a food processor
1 cup of oatmeal and 1 cup of 1% milk mixture (refrigerated from overnight)
1 mashed banana (the riper the better)
1 egg
1 tablespoon of oil

Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients in the food processor.  Mix long enough to combine.  I ended up adding almost another half cup of milk to loosen up the mixture. 

Cook on oiled, preheated griddle until bubbles form and edges start to dry. Flip and cook until lightly browned.   Add oil as needed between batches.  Normally I cook pancakes on a relatively high heat.  I decided to reduce the heat to medium/low.  After the first batch, I reduced the heat to a level 3 out of 10.  I'm cooking on an electric stove. 

Although halved, this recipe produced 12 small pancakes.  These are heavy, dense pancakes.  I had three which were very filling.  I topped them with a sliced banana,  a sprinkling of semi-sweetchocolate chips and a little syrup.  I thoroughly enjoyed this meal.  I wrapped most of the remaining pancakes and placed them in the freezer.

A few more thoughts on this recipe, in case you haven't heard enough about this experience.

• I found a recipe online for wheat pancakes that I used to get the ratio correct for the dry ingredients
• I forgot to add cinnamon which goes very well with oatmeal and bananas.
• In the future I plan to try folding in beaten egg whites after combining all of the ingredients to see if this makes the pancakes lighter or fluffier. 
• A serving of oatmeal provides 4 grams of fiber.  Likewise, so does a serving of whole wheat flour.  Regular (white) flour provides no fiber.  Bananas provide additional natural sweetness, 2 more grams of fiber and other nutrients.  

The Life of a Journalist

I've been jotting things down for most of my life.  In middle school, I would sit in my room on the floor and write.  I'm not sure where those notes are now.    It wasn't until college that I intentionally began to keep a journal.  I have in my possession, journals that go back to 1990, my senior year of college.  There may be more somewhere.    I don't remember any particular event that made me journal.  I've always had a lot of ideas so I thought they should be captured in some way. 

Over the years, I have discovered that journaling is a safe space where I can be myself.  Let's face it, we spend a lot of time in environments where we aren't allowed to be 100% authentic.  Most people holding down full-time jobs have learned to fit into the culture of the job.  It is not the place to say and express every emotion that one may feel in a given day.  I may think that my manager is useless and never prepared for a meeting.  But in reality Oh yes, I know you are a very busy person and have a lot on your plate.  I went ahead and brought an extra copy of the agenda for our meeting.  The manager asks if it was sent via email because he/she didn't see it.  Oh yes, it is the same one I sent to you last night.  You probably didn't get to it yet...no worries!   

Even in environments away from our jobs, there is a certain amount of fake-ness going on just to be social.  I'm sure that you have been invited to a party and you are there because you genuinely care about and want to support the person who invited you.  Often times, you are surrounded by people you wouldn't choose to socialize with, but to be social, you will participate in all kinds of conversations.  Oh really, Kim said that to NeNe on The Real Housewives of Atlanta ...say what!    Or... That color is Aubergine!  I thought it was purple.   

One would think that even in a religious or spiritual setting that one could just be themselves.  On second thought, that may be the last place where you would bring your most authentic self.  I've heard pastors say things in the pulpit that were incorrect.  I'm not going to be the one to raise my hand and say, Actually, Pastor...  On that note, years ago, I was dating this guy and he said that the pastor said something like God told him that everybody was to give $20 dollars during the offering.  He stood up and said that either he was lying or God was lying because everybody in here don't have $20!   He was ushered out of the church.  True story.  But that is a good example of what can happen if you say exactly what you want to say when you want to say it.  What I'm really trying to say is that everyone should have a space where they can let it all hang out without fear or repercussion.  A journal is that place.

Although I've consistently kept a journal for at least 21 years, there is no rhyme or reason to it.  I'm very aware of when I need to journal.  I may wake up with a lot of ideas or feel troubled.  I often write when I'm experiencing insomnia.   If I write in the evening or at night it is usually because I want to jot down an experience that happened that day.  When in a relationship I tend to journal about it.  Some things are coded just in case someone should ever read it.  But since I'm not that clever, most people could put two and two together. 

If I'm setting aside time to write, I can be somewhat ritualistic.  Usually it is in the morning and on the weekend.  I get up and brew some coffee, burn a candle and get really comfortable.  I won't turn on the tv or radio or talk on the phone.  I'm in a quiet space.  I don't want my words or expressions to be influenced.  Then, I sit down somewhere and write.  I write about anything and everything.  I can easily write for an hour. 



Journaling is a place where I can investigate my thoughts, actions, behaviors, goals, beliefs and anything else that is a barrier to my authentic self.  I can make this exploration without judgement.  In my journal, I'm learning acceptance - first of myself and then others.  One of my goals in life is to become the person I'm suppose to be.  This isn't about mastering a particular role.  Actors master roles.  Have you ever noticed that when people are asked about what they do or who they are they often talk about themselves in terms of a role?  Journaling is a tool that helps me to live beyond my particular role in society.   I can be authentic and record my journey along the way. 

My current journal.  I always place a good writing pen in it at the last entry.